classic faerietale; no love, lots of bloodshed.

i woke up with a nose bleed.
what a way to start the day
and it hurts too much to look at you
cause i know you’d look away

i started to cough
and i thought there might be blood.
that night, my hands were soft,
but now they’re dry and rough.

it started with a list entitled
“The Pros and Cons of You”
i can’t erase from my mind your smile
or all that we went through.

it ended with some things
we won’t mention anymore.
i’m back to square one like five months ago
and i’m wondering what all that was for.

well, at least we played our parts well
cause how could anyone think
that i had a chance in hell
at breaking the heart
of someone like you?

and this is the part
oh the part in the story
where all of our actions
get a little more gory.
baby, I’m not in this for the glory.
i’m just here to be your
memento mori.

please, don’t try to sell me
your school boy apathy
like a whore even i wouldn’t buy
tell me, why do i even try?

what’s going on in your head?

i’d just like to tell you
you weren’t right at all
screaming never stops the pain
it just shocks away the initial fall.

and this is the part
oh the part in the story
where all of our actions
get a little more gory.
baby, i’m not in this for the glory.
i’m just here to be your
memento mori.

i don’t know how to write about love
but i swear, i’m trying my best
tell me dear, am i failing you?
or is it just your test?

whatcouldhavebeen, whatneverwas, whatcouldbe.

alibis and wrinkled sheets don’t sparkle in the night.
yet the stars still illuminate the watery vodka light.
and you can sit there and convince yourself that the fourth drink was to blame,
but the stars don’t tell a lie as they light your walk of shame.

i don’t want your harlequin romance, beds of roses.
more like a textbook affair.
and you can sigh and moan and laugh all you want with your fingers in my hair.
but weak knees and atrophy can’t hold my attention for long.
just give me something violet and all together wrong.

skirts lifted at mass and conquests from the past
are like oral bibles for lovers made of glass.
and stone carved lolitas with lips like wine,
are hypnotic enough, but their eyes don’t shine.

and leaving my scent on his pillow isn’t my idea of love.
nor is fighting each battle when push comes to shove.
infatuation truly is like moths and their flames.
so go on and on your bed post carve their names.

i don’t want your harlequin romance, beds of roses.
more like a textbook affair.
and you can sigh and moan and laugh all you want with your fingers in my hair.
but weak knees and atrophy can’t hold my attention for long.
just give me something violet and all together wrong.

oh, but smiles plastered on faces feel more like me at a dance on the wall.
faking happiness or indifference while calculating the height of the fall.
and in my head, i’m singing words that have not yet come out of my pen.
so rewind the tape or put the needle back to the record again.

i don’t want your harlequin romance, beds of roses.
more like a textbook affair.
and you can sigh and moan and laugh all you want with your fingers in my hair.
but weak knees and atrophy can’t hold my attention for long.
just give me something violet and all together wrong.

and i know what bed sheets turned red can never truly regain.
it’s the innocence and luster of their former pure white stain.
because looking into your eyes makes me feel like you’re seeing inside
past all of the smoke screens and most of the gauze.
no more safety pins or ribbons tied up in knots.

i don’t want your steaming passion, in faint fashion
when any girl will do.
and you only love yourself, though you swear it isn’t true.
but weak pleas and the way you tease are a short story made too long.
so here i am, still sitting here, writing out this song.

the teen queen scene.

there’s a girl i often see
in the mirror looking at me
she doesn’t bruise, pretends to smile
she’s in that picture if you look for a while

i think that girl needs an anthem
so here i sit with my pen
writing a rhyme with no ransom
just words that need to be said

put your hands in his pockets
grab his strings, make your puppet dance
cause love is addiction, like nicotine lockets
he only cares that you gave him a chance
but swear that you love him more
kiss him too hard and slip off your jeans
let the lies reveal the whore
cause that’s just how we kick it on the
teen queen scene

when i close my eyes, he could be you
this Lolita was once the used
but i’m locking my heart
and losing the key
blink a few times to forget what you see
and how is it that i’ve become
what i hate, just to be numb?

i love you, you’re perfect, now change
out of your clothes for me
to crashed car windows and diamond rings
i know, it’s not what you’re used to,
but either way, how can he lose?
can’t help but think of what was said
your kissed are calculated
just don’t forget the tax, dear

put your hands in his pockets
grab his strings, make your puppet dance
cause love is addiction, like nicotine lockets
he only cares that you gave him a chance
but swear that you love him more
kiss him too hard and slip off your jeans
let the lies reveal the whore
cause that’s just how we kick it on the
teen queen scene

rosebud cheeks and bitten lips
just close your eyes and twist your hips
convince yourself of love at first sight
if not, then at least love for one night
oh yeah, just put your hands in his pockets
grab his strings and make him dance
love’s your addiction, like nicotine lockets
he’s just so glad that you gave him a chance
and just hold his hand, then lock the door
kiss him too hard and slip off his jeans
you’ve never left one wanting more
cause that’s just how we kick it on the
teen queen scene

i love you, you’re perfect, now leave!

put your hands in his pockets
grab his strings, make your puppet dance
cause love is addiction, like nicotine lockets
he only cares that you gave him a chance
but swear that you love him more
kiss him too hard and slip off your jeans
let the lies reveal the whore
cause that’s just how we kick it on the
teen queen scene

yes, on the teen. queen. scene.

in all reality, you aren't fit to touch the stage, and i wish the cops hadn't let you off with a warning.

these are the last words i’ll write about you
i just thought you should know
though i don’t think you really have a clue
about love, cause you put on that show

you’re a first class actor
and you own the stage
but it’s my turn, and one day
you’ll read the words on this page
it’s not the usual script,
cause in this one you don’t win
and this time, i don’t cry
it goes like this:

you hurt me but you know that
it was a casualty of the plan
now don’t sit there and deny it
just take this like a man

you can work the room
and use your charms
oh yeah, you know your magic
sends them back to your arms

you’re a first class actor
and you own the stage
but it’s my turn, and one day
you’ll read the words on this page
it’s not the usual script,
cause in this one you don’t win
and this time, i don’t cry
it goes like this:

can you teach me how
to break hearts, please?
to bite my lip and play the tease?
cause either you’re too good
or girls are fools
and i’ve got to give you credit
i had it bad
but show me how you played
make believe with what
i thought we had

you’re a first class actor
and you own the stage
but it’s my turn, and one day
you’ll read the words on this page
it’s not the usual script,
cause in this one you don’t win
and this time, i don’t cry
it goes like this:

so i guess this is goodbye
i’m actually sort of glad because baby,
i don’t want you to think i’m mad
cause i’m not
i forgive you…
for having nothing to say for yourself
that’s no surprise
it’s nothing new

so if you turn on the radio
and they’re playing this song
will you finally see that you’re always wrong?
will you be ashamed
or just take credit as the man
with broken hearts and songs to his name?

whitenoisewhitenoisewhitenoisestatic.

sometimes i want to let go
just let go and drift away
though it scares me so
sometimes i just want to let go

and sometimes i miss you
i miss your touch and eyes and laugh
but only sometimes
sometimes i miss you

but always
always i’m afraid of my heart
of what it screams while i cry in the dark
always
always i’m scared of my heart

but what happens when
all the feeling stops
broken heart and locked in a box
no love or hate or missing or screaming
just the silky interior
and no way to pick the lock

and that heart is broken
so when it screams
all that comes out is static
like whenever the clouds kill the sun’s dramatic
loneliness:
kept away from everyone else
an emotional wreck
the understatement of the year
no one to mend that broken heart either
so the static continues to play

sometimes i want to let go
just let go and drift away
and what happens when i do let go?
with no one to pull me back

and sometimes i miss you
i miss the sound of your laugh
but what happens when all that’s
left of you is dust?

but always I’m scared of my heart
of the line between love and lust
and that static never goes away

no one to mend that broken heart either
so the static continues to play
the static always will play.

gray to blue.

and i know what to do
to make a gray sky blue
it’s to fall in love with you
oh, just to fall in love with you

i had a love once but it quickly died
do you think you could bring it back?
if only for a moment please
to taste love again would be so sweet
but then again
i suppose you already knew that

and this concrete jungle we live in
seems so cold and quiet and loud without you
come back because i need the warmth
and the noise or lack thereof
but while we fall there is only screaming around us
though will you only hear
the sound of my singing in your ear?

how confused is this reality of mine?
yet all is clear when our eyes lock
and the screaming stops
and the singing stops
all there is, is the universe, nothing, you and me

then we’ll walk hand in hand
into the stale confines of a fallen star
rusty sink and all hoping that the room will
stop spinning for us to kiss
one more time before light’s out
and what you know you will regret occurs again

and i swear to god i know what to do
to make a gray sky blue
it’s to fall in love with you
but we both know how perfect
and pretend it would be
if i loved you and you loved me
and that will never happen again
but then again maybe it will

but i know for now
that, that god damn sky is a murky grayish-blue
cause i can’t decide to love you or not
do you know?
if so, write it in a love note
i would like that
you don’t know it, but i would
it’s true

and would you help me please
to make a gray sky blue?
i’ll fall for you then it’s your turn to
i want to win at this game of love, not lose
take your time, decide then choose
and help me paint the gray sky blue

a lie to an alibi.

she was just the girl he needed,
perfect smile and apples seeded.
just the right size to hear his lies,
with violet her heart was beaded.

kisses for her, placed on me.
you can’t take her heart, it’s not free.
there’s no more room for all of your lies.
i’m tired of being your alibi.
and no words of love that I could write of
would make me not say goodbye.
we’re hanging you out to dry.
i’m tired of being your alibi.

she’s not yet a notch, carved into his belt.
and another chance granted
stops the hurt he’s not felt.
but he swears that it’s special,
it’s his something real.
she’ll choose to believe him.
let’s make her empty heart feel.

and I was the someone new
to paint his gray sky blue.
he got tired of waiting,
but he’ll always swear he’s true.
he knows what he’s doing,
the cycle repeats itself.
and then, just like me,
she’s a notch on his belt.

kisses for her, placed on me.
you can’t take her heart, it’s not free.
there’s no more room for all of your lies.
i’m tired of being your alibi.
and no words of love that I could write of
would make me not say goodbye.
we’re hanging you out to dry.
i’m tired of being your alibi.

why can’t she see?
after he gets her, he’ll leave.
and as much as you want to pretend
that it’s, “love, katie, love”
you’ll still seal it with a kiss
and then it’s the end.
another girl who you’ve used up.

kisses for her, placed on me.
you can’t take her heart, it’s not free.
there’s no more room for all of your lies.
i’m tired of being your alibi.
and no words of love that I could write of
would make me not say goodbye.
we’re hanging you out to dry.
i’m tired of being your alibi.
kisses for her, placed on me.
you can’t take her heart, it’s not free.
there’s no more room for all of your lies.
i’m tired of being your alibi.
and no words of love that I could write of
would make me not say goodbye.
we’re hanging you out to dry.
i’m tired of being your alibi.

you use “always” as often as you need.
let yourself go so you can breathe.
does your heart even feel?
would your broken skin bleed?
on shattered hearts you feed.

and here she is,
she’s saying goodbye.
she won’t even blink
when you ask why,
don’t you see?
she’s tired of being your alibi.