bedroom blues, blank browns.

i play that day over in my mind.
every night before i rest my head.
like a black and white classic,
our lips met and parted.
i whisper the lies you've said.
but even as i remember the anticipation
before the beginning of the end,
i realize why my heart cannot mend:

your eyes.
brown, and deep.
they were not bright, or loving or even sad.
your eyes were empty and sucked dry.
they sewed my heart
with oxycontin lies.
and they betray you when they tell me
you feel no remorse
for burning my heart
and scattering its ashes.
and for making me cry until my throat is hoarse.
i'm still wiping away the wet, black lashes of my eyes.
oh, you're lying.
i can see it in your eyes.

and you're lying to that fallen star too.
you wind your arm around her shoulder and swear
(for the moment) you're true.
but i do not exist.
not while you try to get her to shine.
yet, as soon as that star falls back up in the sky,
i'm once again seen.
you're once again mine.
so i continue to pretend that the looks of indifference are longing.
and my water is, in fact, wine.
because anything's welcome if it drowns out my sorrow.
making me numb.
if only for a while.
making me numb.
because i'm not hollow.
making me numb.
anything to keep me alive.
because i need to see

your eyes.
brown, and deep.
they were not bright, or loving or even sad.
your eyes were empty and sucked dry.
they sewed my heart with oxycontin lies.
and they betray you when they tell me
you feel no remorse.
for burning my heart and scattering its ashes.
and for making me cry until my throat is hoarse.
i'm still wiping away the wet, black lashes
of my eyes.
oh, you're lying.
i can see it in your eyes.

so your kisses meant nothing,
just as you said.
how can kisses be accidents,
or fresh roses dead?
and even as you laugh,
and wind your arm around my shoulder,
i know a truth that turns me colder.
you see, i know it means shit.
and that you're afraid of it.
because it might turn into something real.
and if that truly happens,
will that make your heart feel?
you're scared of not being indifferent and numb.
now you're starting to realize,
you broke the wrong one.
i can see it in

your eyes,
brown and deep.
they were not bright, or loving or even sad.
your eyes were empty and sucked dry.
they sewed my heart with oxycontin lies.
and they betray you when they tell me you feel no remorse.
for burning my heart and scattering its ashes.
and for making me cry until my throat is hoarse.
i'm still wiping away the wet, black lashes
of my eyes.
oh, you're lying.
i can see it in
you're lying,
i can see it in your eyes.